Thoughts on Modern Travel: Volume I

March 12 2010 Spokane Airport: A Chuckle Worthy Event

After a very expedient journey through airport security in the Great and Bountiful Inland Empire, I was putting my shoes on and collecting my baggage when I noticed three TSA Men move quickly towards the monitor on the x-ray. The red light flashed and they took the flustered woman's suitcase. She explained that the Item in question was a ceramic dinosaur. The older TSA man joked with her and sad that we're not quite that into dinosaurs here. She forced a laugh and then proceeded to gather her belongings. I moved to the bench to tie my shoes, and by this time they were explaining to her that she needed to run all her things through the x-ray again. She rounded the security table and only within earshot of me, she muttered, "Jesus H. Christ." I would not have chuckled at this, but she looked to be a very sweet, older elementary school teacher type, and it just seemed very out of place coming from her. And to think, that this all occurred because of a ceramic dinosaur bank. The End.

March 12 2010 Spokane Airport: A Snippet of Conversation
Girl at Starbucks (a barista), says to her coworker, that her counselor in school had come to the airport Starbucks for some reason, and said something to her. Supposedly, her dad had threatened to beat him up. This made me chuckle because all I heard was that whole exchange and then her friend saying, "Nice!" I love conversation out of context.

March 12 2010 On Board My Q400 Bombadier
The plane that I'm taking back home was your standard turbo prop puddle jumper aircraft, however it was probably brand new and had a bright lime green colour. How fitting for a flight back to the perpetual green zones of Western Washington.

March 12 2010 Still On Board My Q400 Bombadier
The moderately attractive woman, but with a rather uppity air, (grad student maybe), fell asleep whilst I read my Esquire. Eventually her head rested on my shoulder, which I found to be utterly humorous given her previous disposition and also quite adorable. She eventually woke up because of the turbulence over the Cascades, and was probably mortified by at her breach of social conduct. I find that more people should be more open and loose with social conduct, and not embarrassed by such things. She ended up not giving me one remark about it at all, not even a nervous laugh. Some people just need to loosen up and feel the love, man.

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So to get me motivated to finish this story im going to start posting it here so the whole world may experience it.

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United States Of Eurasia
Episode 1 Part 1

Two people, one male, one female, are walking down a deserted street near the docks of Paris on the Seine. They are both dressed stylishly, the woman in a tan pea coat and green sweater and beret and the man in a tweed jacket and light brown roll neck sweater and a beige scarf. Both are wearing slacks, the woman in white and the man in brown. The man is named James Cavendish, a rather cool Brit with a dry sense of humour. The woman is Nicolette Laroche; some would call her an ice queen, and would be only half correct. An outwardly austere person, she never shows much emotion, but has another side to her that is rather lighthearted and kind, but it rarely comes out. These two interesting individuals continued down the street and arrived at a large warehouse that appeared to be closed and that had been that way for some time.

They approached the side door and proceeded to open a hidden panel set into the building. James placed his hand on a pad which then unlocked the door. James walked through first and flipped on a bank of lights which illuminated the room. The warehouse was divided into four parts, a communications center, an equipment bay, a sort of common room/meeting area, and a garage for housing their many vehicles. Nicolette crossed the floor to the partition to the communitcations center while saying “James, I’m going to contact Headquarters in Geneva and inform them of our progress.” James gave his assent and proceeded to head to the commons to fetch himself a cup of tea.

Nicolette booted up their powerful bank of computers and proceeded to open up a video link to Geneva. When it connected, a stocky dark-haired man with a trimmed moustache appeared on one of the widescreen computer monitors. “Nicolette,” the man said, “I’ve been expecting your communiqué,” “How are things in Paris?” Nicolette replied, “Things are going as according to plan, the last few high-ranking members of government are to be convinced within the week.” “Very good,” the man replied, appearing pleased on the screen.”I shall hear back from you very shortly then I hope…” “Yes Master,” Nicolette replied,” “You most certainly will.” The link went dead, and Nicolette turned the computers on standby and walked out of the room, thinking of what type of evening dress to buy.

While Nicolette had been on the link, James had busied himself with making tea and reading a copy of one of his favourite books, 1984 by George Orwell. He had just settled in to one of the plush sofas when Nicolette came into the room and declared that they were going shopping. “Well, what should we take, the Aston or the Land Rover?” James asked. The Land Rover, she decided, because it was less conspicuous. James had learned to live with Nicolette’s very businesslike demeanour. He was at the other end of the personality spectrum, and that was probably why they had been chosen to work together, James thought. He reached for his wallet and keys and the both of them went to the garage.

The Land Rover was black with chrome finishing and looked like any other Land Rover on the street. But this was no ordinary vehicle. The whole surface and windows were bulletproof, the tyres as well, and had several different license plates that could be changed with the touch of a button. The interior was just as fancy as the exterior but had an advanced navigation system with a built in radar, laser, and speed trap detector and the whole car could be driven automatically by the computer itself. The interior also housed several concealed compartments for storing weapons, valuables, and other objects of a sensitive nature. The whole idea was to be seen but never thought of again. As they took off down the tunnel that leads out of their private warehouse, James asked, “So… why are we going shopping?” Nicolette replied curtly, “You are going to look presentable for the President.”

There you have it, on a side note, the story of my 19th birthday shall be told soon as well. Perhaps...